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Good riddance to piss poor commentary

January 26, 2011

I cannot stand Sky News’ coverage of premiership matches – all that ‘take a bow’ nonsense and the worthless technological advances idiot ex-footballers use to demonstrate how useless they are at deconstructing the game they once used to play.

I used to get so vexed at the sound of Andy Gray’s stubby little fingers prodding that ridiculous touch screen table; moving players around with either no discernable purpose or more commonly, stating the bleeding obvious (“Ryan Giggs will be expected to run up and down the left wing”).

Sky News presenters look like estate agents and the women wear more slap than Cher, and they make news stories out of inanity like tweets or a footage of  player getting out their car.

Sky Sports’ only saving grace is Soccer Saturday and Jeff Stelling, but I’m starting to get sick of that too. You could lift those men out of the studio and plant them in a betting shop at 2 in the afternoon and they would look right at home. There is something so unsettlingly lazy about them – men who have had spoilt, lucrative footballing careers followed by spoilt, lucrative broadcasting ones. They bore me.

The worst thing about the now infamous banter shared by Gray and Keys is the obviousness of it all. That old chestnut, the offside rule. The rule everyone knows that is  synonymous with ignorance. There are more complicated rules in football than this. I’d like someone to explain to me the difference between the infringements when indirect free kicks are awarded, and when direct free kicks are awarded. I’ve never understood it.

Anyway, I digress. Good riddance, Andy Gray! Farewell, Richard Keys. I look forward to the improvement in Sky’s coverage. Ex-footballers need not apply.

One Comment leave one →
  1. January 27, 2011 15:25

    Unfortunately, the way ex-footballers go on to lucrative broadcasting careers is the same process by which ex-politicians do too but at least some of them are good at it, or become so, and can string an intelligible, insightful sentence together. Not that I watch Sky Sports (willingly) but personally I’m glad to see the back of “it” aka Grays and Keys because, let’s face it, the back of “it” looks a million times better than the front! Ignorant, sexist and probably …ist too. They’ll probably be back on another channel next week anyway.

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